Permission to grieve.

If you haven’t said hello to your body yet today, this is your invitation. I like to place a hand on my heart and the other over my belly. This is one way you can offer your body mothering energy. I call this a hug for your nervous system. Now breathe in and out in any way that feels comfortable to you. Let the muscles around your eyes, in your jaw and in your shoulders soften. It’s okay to let go.

This weekend was one of deep rest and grief for me. Friday my youngest daughter turned five years old. She was thrilled for her special day. Her older sister, however, had a hard time as she often does on birthdays. She wrote me a note that read, “I am sad. Sadie is changing. Everyone is changing. I like the way we were.” She is so wise to remind us that every beginning is also an ending. As my youngest steps into her fifth year, we must also say goodbye to her fourth year. We honored and held space for her grief so she could move into the celebration with us.

Then while watching Frozen for the millionth time I read the breaking news that Justice Ruth Ginsburg had died. Immediate tears fell from my face. I woke my sleeping husband (who claims he wasn’t sleeping during family movie night but we heard the snores) who joined me in my tears. A wave of grief, gratitude and fear washed over us. First we mourn then we mobilize.

Today I want to remind you that grief is a natural part of life. Unfortunately in our culture most of us were not taught how to process emotions or how to grieve. We were not taught that every beginning is an ending and therefore may activate grief which is why so many people carry unprocessed grief that lives in their bodies. So many of us were taught to power through, to persevere and to overcome. And it’s equally necessary to slow down and give ourselves space to grieve and release so then we can carry on with our lives.

My grief coincided with my moon time which in itself is a death within the body. Once again so few of us are taught to see our menstrual cycle in this way. I practice what is called intentional shedding which means that as my uterine lining sheds, I also set an intention to shed emotions and energies that no longer serve me. This weekend I was deepening in my release of the part of me that is subconsciously self-editing...a layer of the people pleaser so I can say what I came to this Earth to say, no matter if it’s too much for some people.

This part of me and dare I say us…..was part of our taming. The conditioning to be good and to be liked runs very, very deep in the female collective. Intentional shedding is a part of our rewilding as we return to our bodies and honor our cycles and rhythms.

Speaking of cycles….our menstrual cycle (approximately the same length as the moon’s cycle) has four distinct phases each correlating with a moon cycle and a season. When we bleed we are winter which is where I was this weekend. I needed to hibernate...think alone time, silence, quiet, stillness and cocooning yourself in a blanket. That was me Saturday morning.

Because I track my cycle, I was able to build in space for the winter of my cycle so that I could move slowly and honor my body's need for hibernation. Also as a mother this level of self-care required boundaries, planning and vulnerable communication of my needs to my partner. These are all skills we must practice to self-mother. The more we mother ourselves, the more Mother energy we have to share. We give generously to ourselves so we can share generously with the world. Because we have a lot of work to do before November.

This week I invite you to give yourself permission to get curious about grief, your cycle and your needs. Self-awareness is such an important part of your self-mothering journey.

If you have questions or this message stirs something in you, I’d love to hear.

In softness and strength,