This has never been more true than this moment in history. Mothers are suffering in silence trying to hold it all together, trying to do and be everything. Something has got to give.
But, it’s also every mama I’ve ever worked with that’s looking for that work-life balance that remains elusive because it doesn’t exist. It keeps mothers trying to jugggle everything. Forget juggling…sometimes we need to drop a ball or two or three so we can attend to the what requires immediate attention.
And sometimes this has to be you. Resisting this, resisting our needs, waiting until it’s all done when we know it’s never going to be all done, is a way of denying our humanity. Our bodies suffer and so do our souls (and so do our families).
The paradox is that while these superwoman capes are weighing us down.….there’s a part of us that likes being called superwoman because it’s a form of recognition and acknowledgment. And mothers need so much more of this than we receive.
Superwoman capes are also a setup….
When your husband brags about you by calling you superwoman, it comes at a cost. What he’s really saying is that you can do so much more than he can….and this is set up that frees him of the same expectations placed on you. Part of creating equal partnerships is eliminating this message.
On losing yourself…
Mothers tell me all the time that they feel like they’ve lost themselves. What we’ve really lost is a connection to our humanity, our physical bodies with needs, limitations and desires. I’m being repetitive. This is intentional.We need to hear these messages repeatedly to counter the superwoman narrative that runs sp deeply in our culture.
Superwoman capes are rooted in Martyrdom that teaches self-sacrifice as the standard for service in our families, our jobs and our communities.
I’m calling in a new culture of mothering rooted in matriarchy that celebrates and honors your full humanity. Within a matriarchal system you serve yourself which grows your capacity to serve others.
So long as we are drowning, we cannot change the systems that are so clearly working against us as mothers. We take back our power by taking back our humanity.
This begins within you when you can stop resisting your needs, emotions, truth, your limitations, your desires and instead learn to welcome them. Receive the messages your body is giving you. Respond with love.
Often this means saying no, asking for what you need and letting yourself receive support. These are all skills that can be learned.
This is what it means to come into right relationship with motherhood.
This is what it means to mother yourself alongside your children.
This is what I’m here for.
For more on this download your free digital copy of my self-mothering guide.