If you are just joining me here, welcome. And if you have been here a while, thank you for being a part of this community. Thank you for your messages and your vulnerability.
This morning I want to share a story with you. And a confession. First, the story….
Last week my daughter asked why men can show their nipples and women cannot. I paused, the sacred pause I’m always encouraging. I began, as I often do, by asking her what she thinks. Like her mama, she paused and then said, “because then the babies would want to drink all the milk.” My whole body softened-a mix of pride and awe. You see breasts are not sexualized in her eyes, she sees them simply as a source of nourishment. It isn’t men that she fears couldn’t control themselves, it’s babies. How sweet is this?
It didn’t end there. I imagine if I had asked this question I would’ve been told either: “those are the rules” or “your breasts are private”. Cue the shame around sexuality. I used the opportunity to talk to my daughters (ages 4 & 7) about how their bodies are temples. I guided them to place their hands over their hearts and their bellies. I spoke of the incredible power women have. We have the power to create life and therefore to create anything we want. I told them that women (w-omen) have the power to see and know things. We talked of intuition and trusting our bodies. I explained that men became fearful of our power to create and to see. We spoke of patriarchy, misogyny and sexism and how women learned to hide their power, their magic and their wisdom. My husband listened while taking a backseat to this lesson. I told them that in my work I help women remember their gifts and magic so they can share them with the world. I told them I am here to help women rediscover the goddess that lives inside them. I told them I am here to help them show up fully in this world. I wasn’t sure how much they understood. Hours went by and my oldest daughter came to get me, she said “the goddess is calling”. She had created a path made of flower petals that guided me to my 4-year old daughter lying in our hammock covered in flower petals and leaves, beaming a smile I’ll never forget. She said, “I am a goddess”. This is the gift of our healing. We inspire the next generation.
I share this because it jolted me awake which leads me to my confession. I’ve been hiding a layer of myself. In my attempts to connect and grow my business, I started listening to all the experts and trying to do it the “right” way. And let’s be clear, THERE IS NO RIGHT WAY. But my inner good girl and the traps of perfectionism, pleasing, and comparison run deep in the female collective. This week my invitation is to ask yourself, “where am I hiding in my life?” Bring curiosity and compassion. And then ask, what do I need to feel safe to come out? All week I’ve been playing with the theme of Hide & Seek and how we teach this game as a way of living to little girls. Hide who you are, conform to societal standards. Seek validation, acceptance, all the answers and happiness outside of yourself. And it sets us up as women to feel like failures. When you are perpetually holding back parts of who you are (hiding) it takes SO much energy. Cue exhaustion and burnout. Seeking outside of yourself keeps you endlessly looking and believing somethings outside of you holds the answers. It’s a brilliant strategy to disempower us as women. It keeps us from looking in the one place our power actually lives. INSIDE OF YOU. INSIDE OF ME. This is the gift of self-mothering. You tap back into the goddess that lives within you. You reclaim your body as a temple. You create safety to call forth the parts of you that have lived in hiding. You gain confidence to show up fully in your power. You add so much value to this world by simply being who you are. And take a look around, the world needs us more than ever. Take this permission slip, print it out and fill it in. Give yourself permission to explore where you are hiding and to ask what you need to feel safe to come out. As a practice in coming out of hiding, let me know what comes through for you. Dance on the edge of your comfort zone. All of you is welcome here.
And if you need support to come out of hiding, this is what I’m here for.
Be gentle with yourself this week.