I am a
Recovering Good Girl
who found freedom from
the 3 P’s
through the deeply nourishing process of
Maybe you’re here because you fell for the BIG LIE, just like I did.
Maybe you bought into the lie that your happiness could be found outside of you. You looked for happiness in the perfect job, the perfect house, the perfect kids, the perfect partner, the perfect letters after your name, the perfect investment, the perfect school.
You get the idea.
And… yeah, that used to be me.
My life used to be one big inhalation, without an exhale.
And I did it! I truly created the picture perfect life and along the way…
I lost myself.
So what changed?
I stopped trying to control how everyone else saw me and changed how I saw myself.
When I was a child, there was no room for my free spirit. Joy was a luxury that my parents simply didn't have time for. Alcoholism. Divorce. Depression. They had limited bandwidth for my needs, so I learned to take care of myself. I learned to be helpful and agreeable. I learned to follow all the rules. I always asked permission and I never created a fuss.
I was a GOOD GIRL.
Honor Roll Student.
Yep! Checked all those boxes.
And, it nearly killed me.
the GOOD GIRL.
Keeping up the 3P’s (perfection, pleasing, pretending) for 20 years caused debilitating anxiety and depression that lead to a suicide attempt that almost took my life in college.
I got help, went to therapy, read all the books, did all the things and got better but I still wasn’t free.
My inner good girl was still following the blueprint laid out for me: college, career, and finding a man.
(And, not just any man, you know… he had to check all the boxes too.)
I created the life I always fantasized about -- loving husband, two kids, two dogs, a large house in the burbs, beach club member, a master's degree, and yet… something was still missing.
I was missing.
the GOOD MOM.
When I gave birth to my first child I also gave birth to my unmothered self.
The GOOD GIRL in me knew she needed to quickly become the PERFECT MOM.
So that’s what I did. But deep down, I felt disconnected, trapped, and alone as I continued pretending.
How could anyone get close if I wasn’t even sharing my real self?
Cue the resentment, irritability and micromanaging everything to hide how I was really feeling. Most of all, the shame that despite having everything I still couldn’t be happy.
My baby wasn’t the only one who needed mothering.
And maybe you’re here because you do too.
I had to break open. I had to get vulnerable. I had to soften.
Good Girls keep it together, they don’t burden anyone with their feelings, because feeling feelings means not being perfect.
I found my strength, and it was in the last place I’d look… it was in my softness.
Softening meant tending to myself and my dreams with as much love and care as I gave everything else in my picture-perfect life. This is the process of Remothering.
You become for yourself, what you always needed.
I do this through a combination of deep space holding, embodiment work, emotional process coaching and holistic, trauma informed guidance, plus plenty of structure and accountability for your inner “Good Girl”.
With me you’ll get real talk, accountability and someone who will listen and really see you. Plus a good dose of psychology, women’s studies, holistic mental health counseling, and the expressive and creative arts.
Soften and you will discover that self-sacrifice is not love.
Remothering is a process I walk you through that finally places your needs and your pleasure at the top of your to-do list which means healing the fear you carry of looking inside or of disappointing another.
The Professional Stuff
“Good girls” seek credentials so here ya go….
MA, Holistic Mental Health Counseling
CAGS, The Expressive & Creative Arts
Toni’s Bergins’ Embodied Transformation Method
Reiki 1 & 2
Shaelyn is an Authentic Self-Expression Mentor and creator of The Recovering Good Girl. With a Masters Degree in Holistic Counseling and a CAGS in the Expressive and Creative Arts, Shaelyn helps women recover from the cultural conditioning of the 3 P’s-perfectionism, pleasing and pretending by growing personal awareness, nurturing emotional mastery, softening their mindset, and tending to their needs. She resources women with tools they never received to effectively remother themselves. She is devoted to empowering change makers and breaking generational patterns of pain. She offers 1-on-1 mentorships, online group programs, and in-person workshops. You can learn more about her and her offerings at www.shaelyncataldo.com. To contact Shaelyn for speaking, interview or feature requests click here.